July 22, 2021

125 Orpheus Black: Purpose-Driven Sexuality - Desires, Rituals, Intimacy, Spirituality


Sex is the way with which we satiate our hunger and desires and our partner's hunger and desires.

My guest is Orpheus Black

  • Orpheus is the author of "The Enso: A Philosophy of Submission"
  • He has been an educator of 25 years with several titles in the BDSM and kink community.
  • His work has been featured in Mashable.com, Playboy, Marie Claire, and Ebony.
  • Many today look at him as the "coach's coach." when it comes to healthy sexuality, and enlightenment

We talked about...

  • 7:03 Sex is everywhere
  • 9:25 The difference between wants and needs
  • 16:43 The difference between embarrassment and shame
  • 22:50 We did an exercise to distinguish the 4 quadrants of sex: social indoctrination, your self-expression, your shadow, and your perception
  • 28:17 The common blocks and fears to sexuality
  • 32:32 His own transformation to becoming more fearless
  • 47:18 If you are a leader, listen to our discussion about causing transformation
  • 70:33 The 4 components of sacred rituals: space, place, time, sacrifice; and how to use them to bring more significance in your relationships
  • 83:20 We had a discussion about the healthy and unhealthy cycle of desire and contentment (and avoid being hungry ghosts)
  • 92:03 His rituals to cultivate the capacity to be seen to receive
  • 108:58 Finally, we talked about purpose-driven sexuality vs. libido driven sexuality

Please enjoy my conversation with Orpheus Black

Links

 

Wisdom Quotes

"Sex is an energy form that permeates every aspect of our life."

 

"The idea that there is a linear modality to life is ridiculous. We're a series of interconnected, interwoven areas of existence that are contingent on each other."

 

"Needs are the essential components of life - the things that you absolutely cannot do without. We, as human beings require love, care, affection, compassion, tenderness, patience. Those are necessities that we require in an intimate relationship. Want is optional. It's the cherry on top,"

 

"I want from you because...' I need you to take ownership of your own need. Assign that to an individual, and then I need you to give them the why, because the, why has the meaning."

 

"Embarrassment is an internal process that gets externalized and shame is an external happening that gets internalized."

 

"Kink is any deviation from what you think is normal sexual behavior"

 

"Sex is the way with which we satiate our hunger and desires and our partner's hunger and desires."

 

"If we don't know what we want in that quadrant, it's because we've been, we usually live our lives for someone else. We're looking to satiate their desires and replace it with our own. We take from other people and bring it into that quadrant."

 

"Faith is the belief in the absence of trust. So faith is really important to how we build a relationship."

 

"A heterotopic space is a space that helps us be who we need to be in that environment. It brings us out. We may be a different person just because the space feels good."

 

"Ritual is important period because it breeds significance into whatever it is that we're doing."

 

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